On my drive home from weddings, I listen to Pieces by Amanda Cook and remind myself of a God who withholds nothing good.
It was not in my plan to be single right now. While I’m still very young, I always thought that there’d be someone in my life by this point or else I’d be heading overseas somewhere to rescue girls from sex trafficking. Yet here I am, living in the Midwest and single as humanly possible while photographing weddings every weekend.
I learn so much from the way my life is. I’m happy. Truly. Content. Deeply thankful and humbled. But it’s a process to realize that surely, I am lacking nothing. My singleness is not lack.
The kind of love that I see on display on a wedding day is already mine. I’m already in possession of the fullness of which marriage is simply a picture. I’m part of the Church, the bride of Christ. Jesus is passionately, madly, and tenderly in love with me. He isn’t hesitant about me. He’s running around shouting, “this is my girl! Do you see her??? She’s mine!”
Jesus loves me with a love that I have never known and one that I will never fully experience here on earth. Nothing can compare. A moment with Him overshadows even the best day of our entire life. On a wedding day, you step into something that is deeply holy, but it’s only a taste of what is to come.
I look around at couples these days and realize how far I am from being ready to be in a relationship. I’m not ready to give up my independence, my dreams, my plans, my time, and even my selfishness for another person at that level. I know it’s something God will make me work on in due time, but for now, I look at my life and simply see very little place for boys. Learning how to do this life adventure with God is really, really sweet even as it is hard and forces me to let Him in. All those things I’m not ready to give up for a boy, Jesus still coaxes out.
All the things that I am not, God is. All the wounds regarding love and marriage that I’ve been healed from, they are because of the God who is so good. He is everything I want to be. He is everything I dream and pray for in a future marriage. He is the source of all life and joy and purity and faithfulness. Truly, His love is better than life.